Big Time Spider
by Moonbeam-987
Summary: What becomes of Kendall, James, and a huge spider? A one-shot to get out of my writer's block! SLASH KAMES! rated T: to be safe.


Hi, my name is Ann, and I am a Youtube-aholic! I am also obsessed with BTR, so put those together and I have a problem on my hands. The reason I'm telling you this is so you know where this randomness of a one-shot came from.

I was searching the Youtube for BTR stuff and I came across this interview with Fanlala(I think) with BTR. Anyways, there were these giant ants attacking the boys during the interview, and as I was rolling on the floor in fits of laughter I thought that I could make a one-shot with some kind of bug theme, but dismissed it. Sooo... My family was watching Charlie St. Cloude and my brother freaked out at the end of it because there was a spider on the wall, and...BAM! It hit me to write this. So here it is!

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own anything? I didn't think so...

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><p>"Kendall!"<p>

The blonde came running from the bedroom to find his boyfriend hiding behind the big, orange couch, cowering in fear. Walking over towards him Kendall saw that the brunette was really terrified, and crouched down beside him.

"What's wrong?"

"Sp-sp-spider!" James sputtered out pointing to the other side of the couch.

Kendall slowly raised his head over the top of the couch and scoped the room for the spider that James was hiding from. Scanning the walls, the floor, and the couch, he saw absolutely nothing. Sliding back down to the floor beside James, he raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"Umm… James, I'm not seeing the spider you speak of…"

"Come on Kendall!" he said standing up and bringing the blonde with him, "It's righ- Oh no. IT'S ON THE MOVE!" his deep-scared voice rang out through the apartment, and Kendall couldn't help but to laugh.

"Don't laugh! This is serious!" James' head moved back and forth rapidly, searching for the eight-legged creature.

"James, you are like thirty times bigger than a little spider… I think you could take it."

"Oh, so you're calling me fat now?" James turned on him, and Kendall knew he was in big trouble.

"No, no, no!" he protested, waving his hands out in front of him, "I was just saying that spiders are tiny!"

"Whatever Kendall Knight, we can deal with that comment later. Right now we have to find that humongous spider before it nests in my ear!"

"What? James, it's not going to nest in your ear."

"Yes it will! I just saw this thing on the Discovery Channel, and this one woman had a HUNDRED spiders in her ears! I can't end up like her Kendall." He took on a serious tone and grabbed the blonde by his shoulders.

"Calm the heck down!" Kendall pushed the tan hands off of his shoulders, "We will find it before it has a chance to nest in your ears."

"Ok, ok. I'm fine… THERE IT IS! Ahhhhh!" James threw himself into Kendall's arms to where the blonde was holding him bridal-style, "Kill it!"

Kendall's eyes zoomed in to the spider crawling across the wooden floor of 2J. James wasn't lying about the spider, it was humongous! With James in his arms Kendall sprinted into the bathroom, locking the door behind them as if the spider could open doors.

"Holeyhockeypucks! That spider is the size of my head!"

"I told you! It's a mutant spider! Now, how are you going to kill it?" the brunette's right eyebrow crept up his forehead as he folded his arms across his chest.

The wheels in Kendall's head started turning as he tried to figure out a way to kill the mutant spider. Soon a plan kicked into place.

"Since it's about the size of a hockey puck, why don't we play hockey with it?" a smirk grew across his face, excited that he thought of a way to get rid of the spider and practice his hockey.

"Ok, how are we going to pull that off?"

"First we need our hockey stuff."

James dropped out of Kendall's vision and reappeared a second later holding two pairs of jerseys, helmets, and hockey sticks with a smile on his face.

"What is our hockey stuff doing in the bathroom?" the blonde asked.

"Well, Carlos wanted to play one-on-one, an-"

"Never mind, I don't even wanna know," they quickly pulling on the jerseys and helmets, leaving the masks up, "Ok, now we need to find it."

"I'm scared Kendy…" James's bottom lip quivered.

"I know baby, but we can do this." Kendall grabbed the brunette's hand and kissed him on the cheek.

"One more kiss for good luck?" James' lips pulled back into a tiny smile.

Kendall smiled back and pulled the taller of the two's face closer to his, their lips crashing together as if it was the last time they would see each other. Tongues lashed out as they fought over dominancy before pulling away from each other. Smiling at one another, they pulled down their hockey masks and put on their serious faces. Kendall opened the door and tiptoed out with James practically on his back. Sneaking around every corner, they were on high alert and after an hour of searching they gave up. Pulling off their helmets and laying their hockey sticks on the coffee table, they plopped down on the couch in defeat.

"Maybe it left?" James shrugged his shoulders hoping that it was the truth.

"Maybe… You wanna watch TV?"

"Sure."

Kendall turned on the TV and put it on a rerun of_ How I Met Your Mother. _The first few minutes of show James was still on high alert, but he soon calmed down and snuggled closer to Kendall. After the show cut off Kendall looked down to the brunette resting his head on his shoulder, and his eyes grew unnaturally large.

"James," he whispered, "don't panic…"

"What?" James looked up at Kendall and saw his scared expression.

"It's the spider!" the blonde whisper-shouted as he pointed to the brunette's shoulder.

And of course James didn't listen to Kendall and freaked out. Leaping off of the couch, James proceeded to yank off his jersey and scream at the top of his lungs. Spinning around in circles he flailed his arms out beside him, and then started running around the apartment, still screaming. Kendall sprinted after him as James made a beeline for their room, but when he got there James wasn't in the room. Looking around he was confused because he knew James ran in there, but then he heard whimpering from the closet. Opening the closet Kendall found James curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth. Sitting down beside him, Kendall wrapped an arm around him.

"It's ok, it's gone."

"Kendall, IT WAS ON ME!"

"I know, but I you probably killed it with all of your flailing around." Kendall chuckled and James roughly punched him in the arm.

"So not funny!"

"You're just too cute when your terrified." A smile graced the blonde's lips, and James couldn't help but to smile back at him.

Before either boy could blink their lips were connected. At first they were innocent kisses, but quickly turned into what some would call a make-out session. One's tongue searched the other's and vice versa, trying to get as close as they could to each other. Kendall felt James' hand moving up his leg and he went to put his hand on top of the brunette's, and pulled away from the other boy.

"You need to shave your hands…"

"What are you talking about?" James asked, thinking that his boyfriend had gone mental.

"Your hand, its h- OHMYGOSH! IT'S THE SPIDER!" Kendall let out a squeal and James reached on to the shelf beside him and grabbed a book, bringing it down hard on the blonde's leg.

James left the book lying on Kendall's leg, not wanting to see the dead spider. Tears filled Kendall's eyes as the pain from the book crashing down on his leg finally soaked in. James quickly pulled him into a hug and whispered sorry's into Kendall's hair. Faintly he could hear Logan yelling for them and pulled away from the blonde to yell to Logan that they were in the closet.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Logan asked, looking at the two boys sitting in the bottom of the closet.

"Long story…" Kendall shook his head.

"Ok? Anyways, have y'all seen Atticus?"

"Who?" the brunette was puzzled on who this 'Atticus' person was.

"My new pet. He's a Jumping Spider, and he's not in his cage. Have you seen him?"

Emerald and hazel eyes dropped down to the book sitting on Kendall's leg.

_Oh Oh Ohhhh Ohhhhh_

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><p>There was absolutely no plotline to this, just sort of wrote it to get out of my funk... I'm not sure if it worked, so I'll have to get back to you on that...<p>

Review?


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